


Comes in Threes

by spinncr



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Relationship Negotiation, Wolfgang smiled at Rajan right before he kissed him and my heart exploded into a million pieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 18:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14939688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinncr/pseuds/spinncr
Summary: They were back in the Positano villa, the place they had spent their honeymoon, and the symbolism of it had not escape Rajan. Three times he’d come here with his wife now. The first they had come together, just the two of them, to embark upon their shared life together. The second time he had arrived without her, but with all of people, all of the secrets, she had withheld from him. He had followed blindly behind her into a world of violence and persecution and warfare, and such love, so much love he barely knew how to process it. It was then he and his wife started their marriage anew, with the knowledge that they understood each other now, with clarity, and generosity, and hope.This third time, Wolfgang Bogdanow was their only companion, and Rajan could not help but wonder what that meant for the third symbolic consummation of his marriage. Perhaps this place was destined to be both where his marriage had opened, and where it would close.





	Comes in Threes

**Author's Note:**

> So there are definitely like some issues with how this glorious ot3 rolled out on the screen, most of them I'm assuming stem from the lack of time they were given, but still I was disappointed that we didn't get to see Rajan struggle through navigating the new parameters of his marriage. I can't complain because I was DELIRIOUSLY happy with The Kiss, and literally everything about it. Wolfgang's little smile, just for Rajan, destroyed me in the best way. 
> 
> Still, I live for the negotiation, and Rajan's got to be having some hella confusing thoughts and this is my ode to that. Bless them all.

They still had not talked. 

They were back in the Positano villa, the place they had spent their honeymoon, and the symbolism of it had not escaped Rajan. Three times he’d come here with his wife now. The first they had come together, just the two of them, to embark upon their shared life together. The second time he had arrived without her, but with all of the people, all of the secrets, she had withheld from him. He had followed blindly behind her into a world of violence and persecution and warfare, and such love, so much love he barely knew how to process it. It was then he and his wife started their marriage anew, with the knowledge that they understood each other now, with clarity, and generosity, and  _ hope.  _

This third time, Wolfgang Bogdanow was their only companion, and Rajan could not help but wonder what that meant for the third symbolic consummation of his marriage. Perhaps this place was destined to be both where his marriage had opened, and where it would close. 

Rajan had never slept with another man before Wolfgang, had never even considered the idea. He himself bore no ill-will for those attracted to the same sex, at least, he did not think so, could not find any disgust in him for the way Hernando looked at Lito, the way Nomi held Amanita. It was not the sort of phenomenon he was used to seeing so blatantly, that was true, and thus, he caught himself watching them carefully from time to time. Not in censure, but curiosity. 

Daniela in particular confused him. She was a part of Lito and Hernandez, he could tell, and he had seen them kissing, saw the way she touched them. But it was the way she  _ watched  _ them, like seeing them together was ecstasy in and of itself, like that sight was the only sustenance she needed. It confused him. 

What if she wanted them, and they only wanted each other? Was that how this was supposed to work? Was he supposed to watch his wife and her lover, and just take pleasure in the fact that someone could satisfy Kala, even if it was not him? 

He couldn’t do that. 

Well, actually, he probably  _ could.  _ He’d been watching Kala and Wolfgang together now for nearly a month, and there  _ was _ a kind of soft and gentle happiness in watching her blossom under Wolfgang’s careful attention. The feeling even extended to Wolfgang. Rajan was still only getting to know him, but even with all of the happiness he had seen in Wolfgang in that time, there was a jaggedness, a hardness, in the man that all the happiness in the world could not bury. 

Rajan could still hear Wolfgang’s simple, sincere words as he lifted the champagne Rajan had poured for him.  _ I never knew what it was like to have people in your life that would fight for someone like me.  _ He had said the words with gratitude, with love, and yet still the loneliness in them, the earnest disbelief, it had shaken Rajan. He didn’t know how to feel that his wife had taken a metaphysical lover, didn’t know how to feel that the first time his wife had slept with him, she was sleeping with someone else. But he couldn’t ignore the feeling that he was…  _ pleased?  _ That Wolfgang had gotten a chance to experience what Rajan felt for Kala, that  _ Rajan _ had given Wolfgang that kind of togetherness, even if only via substitution. 

He was so very confused. 

Kala was gone now, shopping with Nomi and Lito as her psychic accompaniments at the boutiques in town, leaving Rajan and Wolfgang alone in this very big, very empty villa. And yet even with all the space they had to avoid each other, they still seemed to gravitate together, uneasily, a bit tense, perhaps, but together all the same. Like they were being pulled against their will to something they didn’t know how to admit to wanting. 

Exactly that, actually. 

Wolfgang was currently sprawled across a divan opposite Rajan, and they both nursed chai. Wolfgang had prepared it deftly as Rajan watched in amazement. “I don’t like tea,” he had admitted sheepishly, “but Kala is craving it.” It was these things, these little moments that Rajan could not puzzle out. Was it a selflessness, running so deep in Wolfgang that he could not say no to slaking Kala’s desires at the expense of his own? Was Rajan the chai in this equation? 

They sat sipping the chai quietly, watching each other. Rajan squirmed under the intense scrutiny, insecurities and doubts flying to the surface with every passing minute. He had never thought about sleeping with a man before meeting Wolfgang Bogdanow, and now they had not slept apart since Nomi and Amanita’s wedding. He didn’t know what it meant. He  _ needed _ it to mean something, something very specific, but he didn’t have the words to articulate that desire. 

Wolfgang could shatter Rajan’s life into a million pieces, and yet somehow, it still felt like he was the only thing holding Rajan together right now. 

“I don’t understand this,” Rajan finally admitted, the words flying out with no context, without his express approval. Wolfgang’s eyes softened, erasing the jaggedness that had garnered Rajan’s sympathy, and he knew exactly how Kala had gotten so addicted to this man. It was heady, knowing that he was responsible for putting such softness on the face of a man who had only ever known pain.  

“I don’t understand it, either,” Wolfgang admitted, swirling his chai pensively. “Kala loves you. I didn’t always believe her, you know. I tried to make her choose once, and she responded by marrying you.” Rajan didn’t know what to do with that. On the one hand, Wolfgang had tried to make her choose, and she had chosen  _ him.  _ On the other, had his wife decided to marry him for spite? 

“She loves you, and she needs you. I didn’t understand, but I do now. She loves you, and she is a part of me. She  _ is _ me...” Wolfgang trailed off, leaving Rajan more confused than ever. What did that mean? Did Wolfgang have no choice in the matter? Was he saying he loved Rajan as well, by proxy? He wanted that to be enough, but… it  _ wasn’t _ . Perhaps it wasn’t something they could understand; unable as they were to untangle the boundaries of themselves, but for Rajan, they would always be two separate people first. He didn’t want Wolfgang to love him because Kala did. He… he just wanted Wolfgang to love him, and wasn’t that a frightful thought? 

Wolfgang blushed, and Rajan felt a stirring of lust, and anger, and  _ love.  _ “I’ve been there, every time Kala has touched you, kissed you,” Wolfgang admitted. “It was… very confusing for me, at first. It is hard to explain, the sensation of it. I was me, watching the love of my life with someone else, loving and touching someone else, but she was also loving and touching  _ me,  _ and I was also her loving and touching  _ you.”  _ He laughed, and it was an anguished sound. Once again Rajan felt a torrent of conflicting emotions: sympathy, and envy, and resentment, and intrigue. 

This man had been voyeur to his entire marriage, all of its many shortcomings and embarrassing moments and intimacies. It was humiliating, and humbling, and Rajan was somewhat horrified by the stirring of arousal at the idea of it. The idea of Wolfgang watching Kala and he, the idea of watching Kala and Wolfgang, the idea of touching one, and the other feeling its echo. So many new ideas, new desires, that he hadn’t even known he was  _ allowed _ to covet.

Such a strange and wonderful and frightening world he now lived in. 

“It is good to know that Kala still wants me,” Rajan admitted quietly, his knuckles white around his chai. Was he the chai? Did Wolfgang drink him in only to satisfy Kala’s cravings, despite his own distaste? “I cannot pretend to fully comprehend how it works, your bond with her, and with the others...but there  _ are _ three of us in this. Not two. Her wanting me…  _ through you?”  _ He broke off, frustrated, hurt, and unable to truly articulate the reasons why. “I am not against that idea. It has its… perks? I suppose. It’s own draw. But when I see you, I don’t see her. When I touch you… I am not touching her. I’m touching  _ you.”  _ He had had to work up the courage to even admit the desire to touch Wolfgang to himself. He was  _ changing  _ for this man. When he touched Wolfgang, he wanted it to be Wolfgang touching him back. Was that selfish? Was that too much to ask?

Wolfgang stood, suddenly, and crossed the space between them, abruptly straddling Rajan’s lap. A smile crossed his face, and it was familiar, not the soft smile of affection that he saw more and more frequently crossing the German’s face, but a smile he was intimately familiar with. A smile he had fallen in love with. 

“Kala,” he breathed and Wolfgang ducked down and kissed him, Kala’s sweet and shy smile still warm on his lips. “My husband,” Wolfgang said, and wasn’t that the strangest thing, and yet he could  _ feel _ Kala in the words. He kissed Wolfgang back, or his wife… them both? And began to realize that the lines dividing them really were quite blurred. 

“When you touch him, you touch me, and when he touches you, I touch you,” Kala explained quietly, through Wolfgang’s lips as the man drew back. His weight was heavy in Rajan’s lap, but not unpleasantly so. There was a solidness to him that was comforting, a buoy in a tumultuous bay. “But it is still him you are touching, Rajan. It is still he who touches you. Trust him, let him make his own choices, just as you have made your own.” Wolfgang kissed him again, only this time it was harder, somehow, more teeth, his hands gripping tighter, and Rajan understood. This was not Kala now, this was Wolfgang, and  _ want _ speared through him, inspiring his kiss to grow force and eagerness to match. Kala inspired gentleness in him, an earnest, yet delicate eagerness to worship and celebrate. Wolfgang inspired  _ hunger,  _ a primal urge to bite and taste and  _ consume _ , with none of the gentleness he reserved for his wife. And yet, it thrilled him that she could feel this too, that he  _ could _ be so rough with her, through Wolfgang. Even so, he knew this wasn’t for her, not really. This was he and Wolfgang, even if there could be no such lines drawn between them now.

He was still so very confused by this. 

“I want you,” Wolfgang hissed as Rajan’s teeth closed on his bottom lip. “ _ You.  _ I want you.  _ I  _ want you.” And there was so much there in those words, in the way he spoke them, and yet Rajan couldn’t unpack it, couldn’t think beyond,  _ yes please let me have them both, let me have them all, please— _

This time when he consummated his marriage, his wife wasn’t even there, and yet there were three in their marriage bed now. 

_ “My husband,”  _ Wolfgang moaned, and Rajan stopped trying to figure out who was speaking, because maybe it could be true either way. 


End file.
